Thursday, November 3, 2011

Sharp Things That May Cut Us.... or the knife drawer

My very best girlfriend has 8 year old twins and is ahead of me on the parental bell curve. Little Man isn't even two yet. From her household comes the title of the FORBIDDEN DRAWER.
The conversation in her kitchen as we cooked would always go....'Hey? wheres (fill in random thing that's needed)?
'oh that's in sharp-things-that-might-cut-us'
This makes for an odd flow of conversation but to us it is normal. The drawer has long earned a full title. This leaked into my house. It is also not locked yet!
Me:- 'babe? can you put the grown-up proofing on the STTMCU drawer, Little man got in the junk drawer earlier.
Him:- Sure.
time passes. Drawer remains unlocked for a little while longer.
I contract an evil lung infection and the following occurs. see previous cabbage related post.
It turns out that the otherwise useful Mandolin is a thumb guillotine. It also turns out that my husband is a skinflint when it comes to his own health care. Which would be why he spent four hours at the VA with a bloody thumb instead of 45mins at an urgent care clinic down the block. ho hum.
The point here of course is that there are some things we should all learn from this.
THIS DRAWER (yes the right by the fridge) contains the SHARP things.
Mummy might feel like she is wasting her breath but she really means that its SHARP
If you ever feel uncertain about the status of this drawers contents.... remember the name.... SHARP THINGS THAT MAY CUT US (STTMCU)
the mandolins has been banned by my husband as a vicious thumb guillotine that may or may not be responsible for the downfall of the free world. I figure he still wants scalloped potatoes so its back in its drawer. Which is locked by the way because if a 50yo man cannot be trusted with kitchen equiptment then the toddler should probably be kept out too.
But since he worked out how to unlock the garbage can cupboard its only a matter of time before I have to put a vault door on the galley kitchen and call it good.
This would be mister happy at about 10pm last night. I love that the sympathetic (snort) nursing staff picked that lovely shade of pink.
Little Man enjoyed his dinner sans the bit of 'love' Dad tried to donate.
Oh and the repairmen got the faucet fixed at 9:45 last night and the paint is peeling from the bathroom walls.
Double Irony? I really would have loved to sit in the steam.
Onward Christian soooooldiers marching as to waaaaaar....

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