Because they always do, don't they?
Handsome and helpful husband returned with a beaming toddler and a bunch of flowers ...'ee 'etter mama' and lots of kisses for me.
Can you feel the love? It's awesome. which means the Devil is lurking round the corner to deal me a dose of karma for that moment of smug warmth.
Maintenance appears...the three stooges of apartment complex repairs- its time to service my furnace, track filth in, burn dust off the heat exchange and leave a slew of teeny tiny screws EVERY whucking WHERE.
An episode of pingu limited the toddler taming and Helpful and Handsome hubby managed to preheat the oven, insert potatoes ready a dish for the cous cous.
He then awaits instructions. This is because when I asked him if he could fix cabbage his exact words were:-
'You just boil it for ages right?'
NO WE DON'T
I have nightmares about that kind of cabbage. Dim memories of Girls School Brussels sprouts lurk in my mind.
We do not crucify the crucifers! we steam them then sautee them in butter like normal healthy individuals.
This involves the following set of instructions.
I wont bore you with cabbage peeling so scan down to
'...after you cut the core out get the mandolin and BEING VERY VERY VERY CAREFUL NOT TO CUT YOURSELF.......slice the cabbage with the thin blade.'
Thirty seconds after I told him which drawer contained the elusive veg guillotine I offered another piece of sage wisdom.
'....I know this sounds silly but BE REALLY REALLY CAREFUL that thing is razor sharp and WILL HAVE YOUR THUMB OFF because i regularly almost lose a finger tip....'
Thirty more seconds to.
"DAMN IT...... I GOT MY THUMB.'
'Didn't i just warn you about that? Rinse it off and I'll get a Band-Aid'
'NO I GOT MY THUMB.'
He did too. Took the tip right off and there it sat in the shredded cabbage. Hed managed less than a quarter head.
Being me I fished out the bit washed the cabbage off finished the job and cooked it real good as there was not one single drop of blood in the colander.
I couldn't staunch the bleeding though and sent him to the VA emergency room situated a convenient 6 blocks away.
Dinner was delish even though little man only actually ate cous cous. but I won't whinge about that.
Very Very tired now and my nebulizer has bitten the dust. sigh. dishes yet await too.
This proves that I should touch wood and turn around three times before i curse myself and think how awesome and smooth things are. Im such a dumb bass!.