Saturday, November 5, 2011

Christmas by December 1st

Heaven Forbid we celebrate with a calm and tasteful Christmas.... we have a toddler and according to my nearest and dearest the only way to start this kids Christmas Spirit off right is by turning the entire inside of the smallest house in town....into the inside of the Christmas Countdown Disco Ball.
We have lights that are Fluffy for Pete's sake!
Lots and Lots of them. From Ikea.
There is strategy to this. We have to fit in a whole years worth of family time with Grandma into 14days. I can't afford to spend any more time scutting in the kitchen than I have too. It also has to get us through the rest of the year. In a sense this is Christmas-Birthdays-Easter-Mums Day all rolled into one. The reality is that I may not see my mum for more than a year. Its been two since I last saw her and Levi was only 3wks old. We need memories and pictures to hold our family together. Like Disney it needs to be just a little larger than life and this time I can't run the show from backstage. I want to be IN some of those photos. So I'm going to do it now. As In :- Will be Finished by Advent. Somehow I will do it without the convenience of being able to buy everything in one go from M&S..... If I could stop coughing for 5 minutes it would be easy peasy right? :-)

The Upside.....

If I'm Done By Advent:-

  1. No one will be able to force me to listen to that endless loop of Frosty/Feliz Navidad/Holly Jolly Christmas until the Joy runs out of my ears
  2. No body will attempt to take me out if i have the last Elmo just behind me. 
  3. I get to spent Christmas Eve drinking and eating things while the unprepared fight over the last roll of sticky tape.
  4. That Smug feeling I'll get as I sit at home with a nice glas of wine in the knowledge that someone else is being deafened and trampled at North Star Mall.
The Downside:

My mother requested what she termed a 'vulgar' Christmas. Which it turns out is really compatible with our hope of  'Traditional' as long as you  view Christmas 1987 to be 'Traditional'. In the hope of somehow achieving the Miracle of hosting Christmas, Travelling for Thanksgiving, Guests, Parties, Vulgarity and not 'hiding' in the kitchen trying to cook/pour/wash everything I will have to achieve a level of organization that will horrify my friends and render my family helpless as they laugh at the improbability. Especially when you realize that in this house 'It Isn't Christmas without a turkey AND a ham. (and a partridge in a pear tree) And pies and pudding and trifle (dear Lord.... my hips) and a side of beef for boxing day. Never mind there are only 3 (yes Three) adults attending this year :-) I will manage to do it without massive waste too, if possible. I'm trying to avoid throwing away food after the last time.....

I spent much of today at world market/target/walmart and am proud to announce that on the 'buying lots of junk for stockings' I am ahead of the game. On the 'actually doing the cr*p that counts' front? Not so much.
I need to ask someone domestically apt how often to clean an oven. (so that I can hear never or once and leave it alone. or not. *sigh*)
remember to do the dry-cleaning because leaving things 'dry' in the cupboard doesn't mean they are 'clean' especially the duvets. ick
kill off clean lifeforms evolving in the fridge
CLEAN EVERYTHING........ because my mother is coming and while she will not mind the dust she will notice it. then remind me that she doesn't mind it.
String three tons of popcorn on some kind of string in a bizarre and edible USA tradition (i'm not sure about this one..... apparently people really do that.... so shrug)
Buy More Sparkly Stuff. Apparently it isnt a 'proper' Christmas until the tree has so much tinsel and sparkle it looks like the Christmas Fairy should have stayed off the Goldschlager

I have one scary to do list though.... and I only have 23 days left (after deducting our Thanksgiving Trip) to do it....


Did I mention Arrrrrrrrghhhh :-)

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